There Will Be A Next Time
by Aikat3rin3
Summary: He didnt understand why Byakuya Kuchiki, one of the most successful men on the planet would choose him. There was no logical reason, but it was what made him happy beyond anything else. He wasnt about to let it go. ByaxRen Yaoi NC-17 Not for kitties!
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything but my ideas.

WARNING! Very mature content! Not for kitties! You have been warned!

There Will Be A Next Time

Byakuya Kuchiki.

Two words.

One name.

One man.

More pain than I thought I could live with, but somehow, I did.

He was the most high-and-mighty, holier-than-thou, self-righteous man I had ever had the privilege to meet, if you want to call it a privilege.

But then, who was I to complain? I was just Rukia's best friend. Just Rukia's dumb-fuck, screw-up of a best friend. It wasn't like knowing her from off the streets and growing up with her would give me any guarantee or right to expect anything else, hell, I was lucky to even know the man.

If you want to call it lucky.

We were so much from different worlds; it was sort of a miracle that someone like me even had the privilege to address him by his last name like I knew him, instead of like a business partner. In his world, Gucci suits rain out of the sky, he eats gold plated rice for breakfast, he drives a black Ferrari, he's the most successful lawyer I've ever heard of, and he could literally have anyone he wanted. Any girl he ever wanted in the entire world. He could be like the bad guy in movies and control the police to get some beautiful woman's husband arrested under false charges and then woo her into submission, probably in under an hour. Girls swoon every time they see him. He could have any fucking girl, or guy for that matter, in the universe.

So did he pick why me?

What could he possibly see in a college flunkout because I skipped class so often? I have red hair, and not your normal orange that people just called red, this was actual red-as-a-pomegranate red, and it was down past my shoulders. I was covered in tattoos. The ones on my chest were easy to hide, but the ones on my forehead I didn't even try to cover. I wore my hair in a ponytail as high as any other girl's and wore bands around my forehead. I'd almost dropped out of high school twice. One of my best friends was also tattooed in ridiculous places and my other one had bright orange hair, like as orange as an orange pepper, not even the normal orange that people called red.

Byakuya Kuchiki is also the coldest, harshest, most recluse, independent person I've ever known, if you want to call that a privilege too. He shows anger, coldness, sternness, and the rare shock (though it isn't for long), but I've never seen him smile, or show any warmth what so ever.

So why, why the **hell**, did I have to fall in love with him of all people?

If I'd wanted cold, I could have turned to Hichi Kurosaki, Ichigo's twin brother, possibly the most brutal, arrogant, disrespectful, and sadistic person I will ever meet. They've considered putting him in an institution more than once, but no matter how dangerous he may seem to others, he never does anything, and he's been so close to Ichigo after their mom's death that their dad doesn't dare separate them. Ichigo always goes to him when he going through a hard time, and somehow he finds comfort, though its beyond even his own family how he is comforted by Hichi. I swear to god, in the right light, the kid's eyes are **yellow**.

Ichigo was out, and I'm sickened that I even thought of it. He's been with Rukia since they met each other, though they both refuse to admit it.

If I'd wanted someone like me, then Shuuhei is the obvious next turn, but I'd be too scared to lose my best friend.

Why him?

Why the one person who will never return my feelings?

XXX

I'm sitting in the waiting room of the courthouse, like always when he in court winning another case. There's a red mark on my temple from where I fell asleep leaning against the wall, my foot is asleep from lack of movement, my sunglasses have slipped off of my forehead to hide my eyes so people can't see that I'm trying to fall asleep again, my purple jacket and yellow shirt have earned a few odd looks, but nothing I'm not used to from the tattoos, and one of my shoelaces is undone, earning me a few glares just because we're in a goddamn courthouse. Christ, you'd think we were on fucking God's doorstep the way people were acting.

My arm just joined my foot in slumber, and my elbow will quickly follow, but the adrenaline is pulsing through my body like you wouldn't believe. My skin feels like it's on fire, my heart is lurching and spluttering unevenly, my stomach's clenched and unclenched itself so many times I'm actually fighting off the urge to hurl, firecrackers are exploding in my ears, my body's turning more to soup every second I set here, and I feel so pathetic, helpless and dependant it makes me sick.

How can he drive me to this? Every time I think of his name, hear him speak, remember his face, remember the feel of his skin and hair my knees disintegrate and I have to sit down before I fall down.

I was pretending to be asleep so I had a good reason to ignore the stick-up-the-ass receptionist who kept glaring at me because I wasn't in a suit. What I was really doing was thinking and frying my brains while trying to find some reason—scratch that, **any** reason why Byakuya Kuchiki would choose me. It made absolutely no sense what so ever.

Suddenly the door bangs open and everyone starts filing out into the room, hurrying to get out of the courthouse as fast as possible before Byakuya gets out here and scares the spit out of them all again. They probably all pissed their pants already during the case, including the judge, who seems in a damned odd hurry to get to his car. Damned odd I say. I can't help but smirk as he rushes by.

"Renji."

My heart lurches again and I turn to look up at him, standing up slowly so I don't collapse from the blood rushing to my head out of my legs and feet.

"Kuchiki-san," I nod carefully, making sure the movement isn't enough to embarrass him. He doesn't have to worry, the only one on here with us is the receptionist, the rest have cleared out like cockroaches under a light, and she's too busy ogling at him to even notice that I'm there in my suit-less state anymore, but I make sure anyway.

He stands there for a moment, his normal cold, emotionless face staring into mine (through my sunglasses, I wear them so it tones down the intensity of his eyes and the intensity of my blush following) before turning for the door and walking out. I follow, like always.

The car ride is silent. Utterly silent. Even his car engine is so perfectly created that it doesn't make a single noise during the drive, and the windows and doors were built to block out any outside noise. He hates distractions. I don't even ask if the case went well. I don't have to, I know he won it, and it would just be a bother to him. But unfortunately this time gives me more time to interrogate myself as to why he could possibly want me, why he could have possibly chosen me out of all of the world. It isn't because I know Rukia so well. Byakuya doesn't owe anyone anything, he just doesn't, and he isn't close enough to Rukia to want this just because I grew up with her.

I don't know how he feels about me, but I'd be shocked if he didn't know how I felt about him. I don't do it for money, I don't do it with anyone else, and I never ask for anything in return. It wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but I don't know, maybe because this is the type of person he is I feel it's the only way to stay close to him.

He glides the car into the three-car garage (one for his, one for Rukia's, and one for guests) and cuts the engine just as silently. The noise difference is so little when I was first riding in his car I wasn't even sure if it was off. He steps out, his head high and his posture perfect as he strides to the house, locking the car behind him with the power lock on his key after I'm out and following him to the house.

He punches in the key code and steps inside, slipping his suit jacket off once he's in and heads for his office. This time, I don't follow; I start right up the stairs to the third floor. I would be running if I could because my adrenaline is through the roof, but my knees wouldn't be able to keep me upright if I did, so I force myself to just walk.

The door to his room is open, and I drop my jacket on the desk and slip off my sunglasses, laying them by the purple fabric as I reach for the hem of my shirt and turn around for the bed, and out of nowhere he's there, slamming me back into the wall and slamming his lips against mine, pulling my hair out of the high ponytail. I'd gasped initially from how suddenly he appeared, but now I was biting back moans around our lips, fighting him with my own tongue and frantically wrestling off my shirt from beneath his tight hold on my upper arms and then battling the buttons of his shirt open with my shaking fingers.

I don't know which sounds are from me, they all sound disconnected, but I'm sure most of those yells and moans are mine. His hands wrap around me like iron and crush me against him, pressing my lower abdomen into him as he walks me back toward the bed and I fumble with my belt buckle.

I clamber onto the bed backwards, pulling off my jeans as I go and waiting until he climbs over me before I weave my fingers into his ebony hair and pull him down into another kiss. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth, working his hands over my chest and sliding them slowly down across the black tattoos on my torso. I can't even tell what movements I'm making anymore. I'm writhing under his touch, that's all I can register through my haze of bliss.

I rip open his belt and push his pants down with my feet, covering every inch of his chest with my hands, pulling him as close to me as I can, I'm writing and half screaming into the kiss as he runs his hand over me through my boxers.

He slips a hand into my hair as he pushes the back of my boxers down slowly, slipping a finger into me and making me buck under him, our lips still never breaking the desperate contact. It's the cases, after all this time I've finally figured out that the court room is what arouses him this much, for me its just waiting for him, waiting for what comes after the cases.

I wasn't sure when he'd put three fingers in me, but my body was now thrashing on its own as he pressed into me. I didn't think I could wait if we were going to take as long as we normally did.

I push my hand into his boxers and grab him, making him grunt and stroking him with my every ability to control the movements of my hand.

"Please… I don't care," I grind out, "Kuchiki-san, just fuck me…"

He takes pity on me and slips the rest of our clothes off, but not before silencing me with his lips over mine and his tongue in my mouth. He slides his fingers out of me and throws one of my legs over his shoulder, positioning himself at my entrance. I throw my head back and grab the bars of the headboard with both hands, bracing myself. He goes slowly to not hurt me, but we're not using anything else but saliva and he didn't stretch me as much as he normally does. I know it's going to hurt, but the pain is worth it in the end. It always is.

I grit my teeth, and he leans forward, pushing into me. I hiss and clench the bars so tightly I hear the wood pop, threatening to break, as my back arches. He pulls me into another rough kiss, drawing my mind away from the pain as he eases into me with small thrusts, going just a little bit deeper every time. I'm breathing like I'm in fucking labor.

He pauses for a second once he's in, but I erase the pain from my face before he decides to wait any longer and wrap the leg not on his shoulder around his waist, pulling him into me to encourage him to move.

He's pushing in and out again, slowly at first, but then picking up speed I was almost positive I could match. Someone is yelling and screaming, maybe it's me, I can't tell, I'm too busy drowning in the ecstasy to care how loud I am.

The adrenaline is shooting through me at light speed, clenching up every muscle in my body as his tempo increases, though I didn't think it was possible, and then all at once another scream echoes through the walls of the room and down the stairs from the still open door, and my mind goes blank.

I'm not sure when I returned to my body, but Byakuya is breathing heavily over me, leaning on his hands so he isn't resting his weight on me. I unhook my leg from his shoulder and wrap it around his waist, rolling him to the side gently until he was lying next to me. My hair is in my eyes and splayed across the pillow and my chest is heaving, but I've never felt better in my life. I can't even move my hand to cover my mouth when I yawn.

I fish around for the covers blindly with my eyes closed for a minute before Byakuya pulls them up over us and settles down on the pillow next to me. I can't help but smile at his warmth before I fall into the blankness.

I couldn't explain to save my life why this man had chosen me, but I could do a damn better job at it than I ever could if asked to explain what he did to me, how he made me feel. I could wing why Byakuya would chose me, but couldn't explain what I feel when he's lying next to me to save my life.

A little while later I awaken to the black night sky out the window and his quiet, even breathing. Carefully, unsurely my hand reaches out and strokes gently through his hair, trying not to wake him at any cost. I've long since untangled my feet from his waist during my sleep, and I'm missing the warmth but I don't dare move closer.

I couldn't explain it, but I know I feel it. "I love you, Byakuya Kuchiki," I whisper before letting my hand drop back to my side and my eyes drift close as I fall back into the darkness of sleep.

XXX

Byakuya's eyes open slowly. Renji's asleep, his even breathing and motionless is the only thing that can say that. For someone so loud and active during the day, it's amazing how still he can stay when sleeping.

"_I love you, Byakuya Kuchiki."_

He knows he didn't dream it; he wasn't asleep, though Renji seemed to think he was.

Gingerly, a strong hand lifts from beneath the white covers and threads through Renji's hair, the gorgeous red color, mimicking what Renji had done.

He wont say it, he wont ever say it, but…

His other hand reaches out, sliding under Renji slowly enough not to wake him and wraps around his strong back. The hand in Renji's hair works alongside the one on his back and gradually pulls Renji into his chest. He pulls Renji as close as he can against his chest without hurting him or waking him and winds his fingers through Renji's hair, tucking his head under his chin and listening to the steady breathing in the muscular chest.

No, he would never say it. At least not yet.

He never thought anyone could have broken through his barriers, but somehow Renji had done that.

Maybe the younger, brash, arrogant man could even manage to make him submit enough to say it in return the next time Renji told him he loved him, because he knew there would be a next time. He wouldn't let Renji go.

Short, I know, but what do you think?

On a scale of 1-10, what do you rate it?

Please review!


	2. Epilogue

I don't own anything but my ideas… still.

But First…

Well, you all begged and I caved. Hope you little morons are all happy with making me suffer through writing another chapter to this stupid thing! JUST KIDDING! I actually wanted to write an epilogue for this already, but I was lazy, so to everyone who didn't ask for another chapter, get down on your knees and kiss the Achilles heels of everyone who did! Here it is! The epilogue you all asked for!

To thank a few people, here are their reviews:

**Tigeress11**: "Good start. even though this is a one-shot i realy think it has potential to be a great story." Everyone bow down to this wonderful reviewer who gave me the push to write an epilogue, and she gets extra cyber hugs for being the first reviewer!

**ChaoticMayhem**: "On a scale of 1-10, this is out the roof. Man, it's really good. I luvvvvvvvvvvv." This was the review that actually got me to start thinking about what I could write for the epilogue. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

**Ladywolfinmt**:"I really liked this story, you caught both characters personalities perfectly. I hope you will write a sequel, or at least another lemony Bleach fiction." Heh, I was gonna be all lame and mother-like and keep the epilogue sappy with no smex, but then I read this and I came back to my senses. I can't believe the thought even crossed my mind. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

**x pink cloud x**: "I love that it's long for one-shot at the same time I wish it were multichapter. Kudos for AU. I give it an 8! You should do one with Byakuya's POV! *puppy dog eyes*" I know! I always write one-shots that are like, eight pages long! I wrote a two-shot for a SasuNaru fic (.net/story/story_edit_?storyid=5976626/1/) that was 59 pages! But I can't get enough in if it isn't long enough! And everyone thank this reviewer for the end! (It's probably not **exactly** what you wanted *wink wink nudge nudge say no more* but I thought more of a switch would be too much for this story)

To everyone else, **Kat**, **Jigoku Hoshi**, **Toya**, **The 13th Jinx**, **alliefan**, **Addictedreader09**, **SpookyWeasel**, **littlexcutiexqueen**, **None** (ya know, you could've put an actual made up name in there…) thanks for your reviews!

XXX

I feel sick.

I'm going to be sick. I just know it.

I can feel the acid bubbling at the back of my throat.

My stomach had jumped into my mouth when Byakuya had told me and I haven't been able to swallow it back into my abdominal cavity, **where it is supposed to fucking be**!

"_I'm have been invited to a ball thrown by a judge of one of my previous cases, as a thank you for giving him good reason to throw the defendant in jail for life with no chance of parole. Apparently it was not the first time this man had appeared before court with serious crimes, but he hadn't had sufficient lawyers against him until then. Rukia and that __**boyfriend**__"—he spat the word—"of hers have already been invited and will meet with us there."_

"_Us?" Renji picked up on the key word easily. _

"_It is in one week, you are coming." And with that he had turned and strode away, his heels quiet against the floor, his head held higher than the sky, his back straight and almost rigid with his perfect posture and his eyes closed calmly as he left Renji standing there, stunned._

I can feel it. I'm going to be sick. There isn't even a question of it.

Byakuya Kuchiki, my god, the reason I breathe, the reason my heart still beats in my chest, my lover of now three years, wants me to attend a very public, very out in the open ball with at least a hundred other people there.

Is he insane? I'll cough wrong or something and embarrass him!

I've been around him so casually in public though, all of the papers say there are rumors that I'm his secret apprentice, or a personal secretary or something, so there will be no problem with people seeing me with him in public, but if I slip up… my stomach lurches again and I lean to the side over the toilet before my lunch settles.

My hands are shaking as I attempt for the fourth time to put up my hair. Attempt. I quickly tear out the hair tie and try to push my hair out of my eyes. I'm shaking so much it even looks like the mirror is vibrating in front of me.

I let out a frustrated shout as the fifth attempt to tie up my goddamn hair also tanks and I lean against the sink, letting my hair fall around my face and hide my view of the mirror as I grit my teeth. Two hours. Two hours left until I'm supposed to be waiting at the front door for him to pick me up after his case. I spent all morning making sure I was perfect, and I spent all yesterday buying my first suit (he left me enough money for it to buy a house and a car of my own), a black fitted suit, a deep red shirt to match my hair (nothing else looks good on me for suits), a black tie, a deep red studded buckle and a black silk scarf-like thing in place of sunglasses (which I knew I wouldn't be allowed to wear), and I spent all day three days ago giving myself pep talks about today. I desperately hope the buckle is ok, I couldn't find anything else. I feel sick.

It will be strange—for both me and him—to not do anything after the court case. I'll be able to handle it, I've been too nervous for hours to feel any sort of horniness, and I don't doubt that he wont be able to handle himself—he can handle everything—it will just be strange.

I nearly tear a ligament in my neck as a sharp but quiet knock at the door makes me jump out of my skin. He's there, standing there, watching me about to hurl. By the way, now that he's standing there, the urge to spew my guts into the sink has doubled ten-fold. Even better.

He doesn't look disgusted, mad, upset… hell, he doest even look surprised to see me like this. My shaking has stopped from an overload of fear, so I guess that's a bonus, but how big of one is impossible to tell at the second. You'll have to come back for the verdict later.

Slowly, extremely slowly, he lowers his hand from the door and walks over to me, his hands lightly in his black suit pockets, his white shirt flawless and perfect without a single wrinkle even though he's been wearing it for a few hours now. I feel a little less catatonic when I see he's wearing the scarf I met him in, the one that he wears everywhere except for where he's strictly forbidden because of his job (court rooms). Wearing it means he's relaxed, so I don't have to worry about him being too horny to go—though I wouldn't mind not going—but only a little bit. My neck's still wound tight enough for it to pop off any second like a jack-in-the-box.

I watch, frozen from shock, staring into the mirror, as he steps up behind me and threads his hands through my hair, pulling it back. I feel something behind my naval jump, but I beat it down with a stick before I do something stupid and unbelievably embarrassing in this brand new suit that I **need** in two hours.

He holds out his hand and I robotically place the hair tie in his pale palm, my eyes still glued to the mirror as I watch him tie my hair up, as calm about it and doing it well enough so it looked like he's been doing it for years. Granted, his hair is fairly long, so this shouldn't be completely new, but he never puts his up, and he's sure as hell never put mine up before. I can't even blink when he picks the black silk cloth up off the sink and folds it before it's the right size and slips it over the tattoos on my forehead, tying it where I always do right on my temple. My knuckles are as white as the porcelain counter from how hard I'm gripping the sink and my eyes are going dry from lack of blinking. He's done, and waiting for my reaction, but I still can't find the part of my brain that controls my movement.

"Two hours, Renji," he tells me before walking out of the bathroom. "There is food downstairs that I brought home. Eat so you don't lose your stomach later."

My stomach almost pitches itself out of my throat at that.

Later

"Renji, this is not the first time you've been to something like this."

"What if I do something stupid?"

"Do not shout, Renji."

I've never shut my mouth faster in my life. My gaze snaps straight ahead and I clench my hands in my lap to keep from breathing wrong. I'm going to be sick, there isn't even a question about it.

He sighs, apparently he didn't want me to react so hugely. "There is no one there that should intimidate you."

No, there isn't… except you. I'm not afraid of going, I've been to **hundreds** of places like this. The problem is… that you intimidate me. If I do something wrong… if I screw up in anyway… you can toss me aside so easily… that scares me more than anything, Byakuya.

He glides the black car up to the door of an at least 21 story floor hotel and puts the engine in neutral, making the silent engine quieter than it already was. I can hear my heart in my ears.

I force myself out of the car after wrestling for a minute to get free of my seat belt and growling at the fucking doorman who had the gall to laugh at me. The valet takes Byakuya's place in the drivers seat and pulls away, and it would be impossible to miss how much in awe he is at how quiet the beautiful car is. The doorman has gone from laughing at me under his breath to glaring at me with all of his inner hate. He thinks I'm a whore. Son of a bitch, does he even have a brain? People never bring their personal whores with them anywhere important.

I fall into step behind Byakuya and shoot a glare at the doorman as I walk by, making him stumble back. Yeah, bitch, I grew up on the streets, don't fuck with me unless you want to loose your front teeth. You can kiss your job goodbye then. The red carpet is surprisingly louder than Byakuya's engine beneath the stupid shiny shoes I was required to wear, and the bright lights and everything gold around me in the hotel is practically blinding me. Fucking rich people. I swear, money just rains out of the sky for them.

I follow Byakuya down the long hallway and through double doors fifty feet high, and then down marble stairs to a ballroom packed with anyone who's anyone. I see Isoroku Yamamoto immediately, he's the mummy with the beard down to the floor and everyone who's desperate for attention flocked around him. Other people start to pop out of the crowd slowly, but at least I see them before we reach the end of the staircase.

Yoruichi Shihoin, another brilliant lawyer, is wearing a red dress with a plunging neckline down to her naval that only she could pull off without looking like a lap dancer or a call girl. They aren't open about it, but it's pretty obvious that she and Byakuya are competing to be the better lawyer. Her husband, Kisuke Urahara is there, a very successful inventor and scientist, (the only reason she didn't take his name is because she's from a long line of nobles that wouldn't let her take his name if they were to get married) and their three children Soi Fon, Jinta and Ururu are there, all of them adopted. Kenpachi Zaraki, a military captain and his lieutenant, Ikkaku Madarame, and second lieutenant, Yumichika Ayasegawa are there. Kenpachi's harassing Ichigo Kurosaki while Ikkaku is suffering with watching Yachiru Zaraki, Kenpachi's daughter, and Rukia is pretending that she doesn't know Ichigo from the way she looks ticked and is very interested to talking to a reporter. I almost feel bad for Ichigo, Kenpachi's a psycho.

It's going to be a long night. Someone walks by with a tray of champagne and I pull two off of it, passing one to Byakuya who barely nods a thank you. I'm used to it.

"Kuchiki-san!"

I look over to the loud voice as a reporter bursts out of the crowd with a tape recorder on her side and a pad of paper and a pen in her hands. She looks about as excited as a kid in a pet store filled with puppies, her knees are trembling as she put the pen to the paper.

"There have been rumors flowing out of the court room that Sosuke Aizen now has life thanks to your brilliant skills, is this true?"

"I am not authorized to say anything until the government has released any information on the subject." Byakuya's face is cold and blank, like always. Sometimes I wonder if he even learned how to show emotions. I've been close enough to see his emotions released to the fullest, but even then it isn't much.

The reporter's face drops like her mom just told her that she can't have a puppy, but then she realizes that if she asks her dad and he says yes she could get the puppy and turns on me like she's stalking her pray. Shit.

"Renji Abarai, correct?"

"…Yes."

She juggles her pen in the hand with her notepad and stick out her hand all to eagerly, I grimace mentally and let her take it and pump it before I pull my hand away. I'm going have to wash it now, she's wearing way too much perfume and frankly it's overpowering.

"Chizuru Honsho, it's an honor Abarai-san. As Byakuya Kuchiki's personal assistant, how would you say that the past few days have been for Kuchiki-san?"

Christ, it couldn't have been an easy question that I could just bullshit. I tip the champagne back into my mouth as I try to think up something plausible to say without embarrassing Byakuya, when all of a sudden he speaks up.

"Renji isn't my assistant."

"Oh?" Chizuru turns back to him, her pen scribbling something across the pad. "But he's so often seen with you, Kuchiki-san. It's not unknown that Abarai-san and Kuchiki-chan grew up together, are you close to him for that reason?"

"No, Renji is my lover."

The champagne explodes from my mouth, drenching Ichigo who had just come over to say god knows what, and now he's pounding me on the back while I cough up a lung into my hand. Somehow I manage to look up at Byakuya before my eyes blur over, and it just makes me hack more at how calm his face is. The whole ball is silent aside from me dying from suffocation.

The. Entire. Fucking. Ball. Everyone heard. Chizuru's pen is about to snap in her shocked grip; ink is already leaking down her thumb.

"Your… lover?" she repeats quietly, her face lit up with light brighter than the sun. Her father just told her she could have every puppy in the store.

"That is correct," Byakuya answers coolly. I still can't breathe and my back is sore from Ichigo hitting me so hard.

I'm going to hurl.

Three Days Later

I don't even remember what happened after that. Somehow I got home and woke up in bed at around noon, with my head still fogged over. I wonder if I passed out from lack of oxygen.

Presently I'm sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee that I'm about to break from how tightly I'm gripping it. Naturally, I turned on the TV and **the news** comes on. Of course. And I'm numb from what they're saying, so I can even changed the channel with the damn remote that I'm also about to break in my hand.

"—and during a ball three days ago held by the famed judge Isoroku Yamamoto, who put Sosuke Aizen away for life, some shocking news was revealed. What exactly happened, Mizuiro?"

"Tatsuki, it was a shocker. Our reporter Chizuru was attending the ball and was interviewing the also famed Byakuya Kuchiki on the Sosuke Aizen court case, which he refused to reveal anything on, but like always Renji Abarai was with him. because of how often the two are seen together, it was assumed that Abarai was probably his personal assistant, but when Chizuru asked Kuchiki, he said that Abarai was actually not his assistant, but his lover."

I heard the remote crack.

"Everyone was blown away, apparently the entire ball was silent. Kuchiki then went on the clear away any rumors that have manifested themselves over time, revealing that he and Abarai have been together for over three years and he's known Abarai since the younger man was only fourteen."

"Wow, that's a long time for no one to know anything, some things might have been suspected, but I guess no one really made any guesses."

"Abarai recently only turned twenty-two, while Kuchiki is turning thirty in January, so there is an age difference, but so far it hasn't seemed to affect the newly-out couple. Kuchiki graduated from both high school and college early, explaining how he could be so successful as a lawyer at such a young age, but now people are asking if he will continue his success now that the couple is out."

"There are many people that are against homosexuals, but it seems that he is at this point still the highest in use and success rate as a lawyer."

"Well, whether or not he goes for men or women he is still the best lawyer around, so I don't think people will stop hiring him to win their cases just because of that. If they want to win a case, they're most likely going to hire him."

"We spoke to Rukia Kuchiki, Byakuya Kuchiki's sister, who said that she 'had suspected it about Byakuya nee-sama because of how often he is with Renji, but I don't think I ever really made the connection, but I think they fit together. Renji and I both grew up on the streets, so we have never expected or gotten too much affection, and because Renji isn't looking for that, I think he's good for Byakuya nee-sama.' Now, back to the evening—"

A pale hand slips the remote from my hand gently and turns off the TV with me still frozen on the couch, my hand up like I'm still holding the remote. The couch dips a little bit to my side as he sits down, but I can't even blink, let alone turn to face him.

"Renji."

My heart's spluttering like its engine is about to die. He might… lose some people hiring him… because of me? Why would he do that? Why the hell would he say that? Why the hell would he come out in front of all those people like that? Rukia didn't even know!

"Why… did you…" I choke out. I can't even say the whole sentence. Fuck.

"Renji, look at me."

I can't. I literally can't move my neck. I twitch slightly when he threads a hand into my hair, but luckily not enough for him to see. It's so… unlike him. what's going on? That's it, an evil twin, a sick brother that looks a lot like him. A **lot** like him. A sick, sick, sick brother.

"Renji, I heard you that night."

What? Was I talking in my sleep?

"When you said that you loved me."

…

…No way.

No. Fucking. Way. There's no way… just no way… this can't be happening…

That's it. My life is ending. He heard me. That's it.

"You heard me?" I'm whimpering. If everything else wasn't enough, now on top of everything I'm whimpering, like a crying child, like a two year old.

"Renji," he says gently, taking my chin gently in his hand and turning me to look into his eyes.

"Kuchiki-san, I..." What am I even supposed to say to that? I'll get my things? I'll pack up and go stay with Shuuhei until I figure out how to fix my fucked up life? I'll—

"Say it again."

"…Huh?"

"Say it again," he whispers huskily, leaning closer and closer until I can feel his scorching breath on my lips. He wants me to…?

"I... I lo…"

"Say it, Renji," he traces his tongue carefully across my top lip, slowly, just to drive me mad. I'm about to lose it.

"I... love you…"

"Again."

"…I love you."

He's silent, watching me carefully, measuring my every movement and reaction.

I swallow, but my voice is much firmer this time, much more strong. "I love you. I love you, Byakuya Kuchiki."

And very carefully, giving me time to close my eyes, he leans in and presses his lips to mine. Soft, and gently, like… like he loves me too, not like he was just looking for my body.

Hah, there's no way. I don't care, just as long as he keeps kissing me.

And then he pulls away slowly, and I actually whimper like a lost puppy. Pathetic. His thumb is caressing my cheek, drawing small patterns and circles on my skin, his pale complexion so much lighter than mine.

And then all at once he leans in, pressing our foreheads together and closing his eyes, and five words slip past his flawless lips.

"I love you too, Renji."

Five words.

Four if you didn't include my name.

And yet…

They hold more than I could ever ask for.

More meaning.

More hope.

More happiness.

More shock.

More confusion.

…More love.

"…Y-You…?" I can't get the rest of the words out of my throat, let alone past my tongue and into the air, but we have known each other since I was fourteen and he was twenty-one, and he knows what I couldn't say.

"Yes," he nods gently against my forehead, his eyes still closed and mine wide with shock.

…He loves me.

I'd never asked for anything more… and now…

He was giving me this, the greatest thing I could ever want, or need.

I love him, with everything in my existence, and he loves me.

I can't tell if my heart is going to shatter or burst.

Everything is a blur, my tearing at his shirt, his lips buried in my neck… I'm numb with happiness.

He loves me.

He loves me.

He loves me.

Nothing else matters.

I throw my head back, a loud cry bursting from my lips as he sinks his teeth into my neck, one hand at the back of my neck and the other pushing down my jeans. I don't care, I can't feel the pain. My heart is soaring right now, someone could impale me with a rusty shrimp fork and I wouldn't feel it as long as he doesn't stop touching me. This is what I've needed.

I need him.

Byakuya Kuchiki.

I grab the sides of his head and yank him up into a kiss that makes my head swim as I lift my hips and he slides me jeans down, beginning to play with the hem of my boxers. I want to scream at the slow pace, but that would mean having to break the kiss.

My hand drops and grabs his length, pumping him and making him groan into the kiss, his breathing ragged. Finally he yanks my boxers off and grabs my own length. My back arches beyond how I am supposed to bend under him and I gasp so loudly I can hear it around the kiss.

I'm writhing under him, and I pretty sure the only reason he isn't thrashing too is because he's using his body to anchor me to the couch and is trying to pull my hair out of the high ponytail. He finally gets the tie out and my red hair falls around my face as he moves his now-free hand around my back to slide into my entrance as I arch again.

Our tongues are the ones thrashing now as I stroke his length harder before all of a sudden he stops me with a strong hand clamping around my wrist as he lifts my leg around his waist.

"No more," he growls softly into my neck and I lean back into the arm of the couch, just concentrating on his hot breath and the way his lips feel against my skin.

Oh **this** is going to hurt… and I have to honestly say my body's been screaming for it for days.

I swallow as he pushes three fingers into me all at once, making me hiss, I'm already arc-shaped and I wasn't even supposed to be able to bend this much. **Fuck**, that hurts. And then before he's barely started he's yanked his fingers out of me and positioned himself in front of me.

Ok, just relax, or this is going to kill—

I can't hide the shocked look on my face as he suddenly leans in and presses his lips to mine, rocking forward so be barely pushes into me, rocking back and then forward again, pushing in another millimeter.

"Mmffggh," I splutter, grasping the sides of his face to push him back, looking into his now-confused eyes with my own quirked eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

He looks like he's trying not to smack me out of aggravation; he's fighting not to role his eyes.

"I'm trying not to hurt you."

…

My jaw has to be on the floor.

What is he, an idiot? He got me all worked up for the pain with almost no foreplay and now he doesn't want to finish it **because he's afraid he'll hurt me**?

…Yeah, fuck that.

I reach around him and wrap my arms around his back, moving my legs to grip at his waist. I can't exactly identify the expression on his face. Annoyance? Confusion? Anticipation? Let's compromise. It's a mix.

I wait for a second to make sure he isn't going to do anything stupid, like move, once I've got a tight hold on him, and then in one movement, ripping the band-aid right off, I throw myself backwards, yanking him into my chest at the same time as I squeeze my legs, forcing him into me.

…

**Fuck**.

**Fuck**,** fuck**,** fuck**,** fuck**,** FUCK**.** FUCK **does it** hurt**!

He shifts his arms, trying to push himself up to look at me to see if I'm all right.

**Jesus**, don't move! I can't stop myself from choking out a hollow sound halfway between a cry and a squeak, but thank god he stops moving.

"J-Just, give me a second," I shudder against him, my arms squeezing to hold him tighter.

After about seven minutes of wasteful motionless lying in the living room on the cramped couch I'm finally able to move enough to just rock back and forth under him, and he takes that as his cue to push himself up, a cold stare on his face.

"Are you all right?" he asks stiffly.

Better than I've ever been. There is no way I could explain it to him. He won't understand how those five words affected me so much.

"_I love you too, Renji."_

The pain that's still supposed to be there is completely gone.

I strain my back to lean up, pressing my lips gently to his. "You have no idea," I whisper huskily, squeezing myself around him and watching him grunt unevenly, and not soon enough, he moves, pulling back and pushing forward again, his eyes shut tightly, and I'm moaning under him as he finally picks up speed.

"K-Kuchiki-san…" I groan, my eyes rolling back into my head.

"Say my name, Renji," he whispers, running his tongue down my neck.

I swallow, a shocked smile pulling at my lips. "…B-Bya… kuya," and then I scream as he yanks out and slams back into me. I can't explain how amazing it feels on my tongue.

*Byakuya POV*

Later

I run my hands idly through Renji's stunning red hair, holding him carefully with his back against my chest and listening to the steady sound of his breathing. It amazes me how still and calm he can be when he sleeps, especially when he does things like taking me in him all at once when he's awake, like he did just a few short hours earlier.

"…_B-Bya… kuya."_

The way my name sounded on his tongue, the way he looked at me when he said it, it was long overdue. I can't remember a time when I didn't want him to call me Kuchiki-san. Even when he was only fourteen, a gangly, lanky, awkward teenager that was striving to be everything he couldn't be, I wanted more than just passing pleasantries because of Rukia from him.

I look down again, running my hand across his forehead, marveling at his boldness, or more specifically, at the display of black markings running across his forehead, chest, back and arms.

"_Renji isn't my assistant."_

"_Oh?_ _But he's so often seen with you, Kuchiki-san. It's not unknown that Abarai-san and Kuchiki-chan grew up together, are you close to him for that reason?" _

"_No, Renji is my lover."_

I'm still not entirely sure what spurred me to say it. His expression looked so small and frail… but somehow I think it was more along the lines of just being him. There is something about this brash, eccentric, smug, cocky, determined man. He affects me in ways others couldn't even hope to achieve. Because not only did I say that, but he, by just being him, forced me to my knees and I said what I never thought I would.

"I love you, Renji," I whisper again, leaning in to press my lips to the florid tattoos decorating his forehead.

That will never change. I can feel it in my core.

^—^ How was that? XD

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Again with the scale of 1-10 thingy if you don't mind, too!


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